Hiccups
by Naril
Summary: First attempt at CRACK. After the Fischer job, the team goes celebrating. Ariadne as usual is curious and after a few drinks has some questions about the technicalities of Eames' abilities. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


_Look at me being Ms Productivity today. I'm updating twice today. That's never happened before. _

_Okay, I admit it, I am shamelessly using Ariadne to ask a question that my own dirty mind cooked up and she just wanted me to point that out before we continue because otherwise she'll get both Arthur and Eames to put a bullet in me. She's a lovely lady, really…_

_Disclaimer: Me=nothing; Nolan=everything….. X( _

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><p>They had gone celebrating. Well, the four of them anyway. Cobb had completely disappeared, too busy trying to make sense of his new freedom to even stop and thank them.<p>

That was exactly what Ariadne had pointed out repeatedly after a few drinks and of course the ever loyal Arthur had stood up to defend the Extractor, which after a few more drinks caused the two of them to fall out with each other.

The result had been Arthur's early departure and since Yusuf was busy attempting to use his chair as a bed, snoring away happily it also meant that a decidedly drunk architect was left with a highly amused Forger.

"A 'thank you' would have been nice, you know? It's not too much to ask really… should have known better. Gives the word 'Mindfuck' a whole new meaning." She had been grumbling like this for a while and Eames could not help but snicker at that last comment.

"Speaking of 'Mindfuck'," She looked up at him out of curious but alcohol clouded eyes, "you know I've been wondering… that Blonde you used in the second level… was that…I mean did you impersonate her anatomically correctly?" Her tongue had slight difficulty wrapping around the last few syllables but that was not what made him choke on his drink.

She watched with a strangely satisfied expression when he coughed, trying to breathe.

"Why would you ask that?" He eventually managed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat all of a sudden. Where did that come from? Was she not meant to be this innocent he had been told not to corrupt?

"I don't know, just wondering if stuff like that literally involves you losing your balls." She asked, letting her chin fall onto her folded arms on the table and shooting him an adorable smile.

Eames blinked at her and recomposed himself. Was she playing with him? "You know that very few people dare ask me that." He pointed out and took another long drink from his glass, trying to stall.

"But everyone thinks it." She pointed out, finger waving in the air for emphasis. She still looked at him expectantly, shoulders twitching when a hiccup became apparent.

The Forger was now sure that she was playing a game. "Why do you want to know?" He put his now empty glass down and met her slightly glassy eyes head-on.

The architect shrugged. "I don't know, just curious. I mean,… I think: a man in a woman's body. It's slightly wrong, you know." He did catch the teasing gleam in her eyes then and it irked him. She was challenging him.

"Wrong, hu? You my dear, have a dirty mind." He smirked at her and he was sure the blush over her cheeks was not just the alcohol in that moment. Surely she did not think she could beat him in this territory.

"Well, it is a valid question. It makes me wonder about…well…." She insisted, her eyes fixed on his, while she reached for her own glass again.

Was she asking what he thought she was asking? "I like to create some mystery." He easily supplied and tried not to laugh at her continued struggle with her hiccups.

"I just don't want to think of all the stuff you might have been up to." She gave him a quick once-over to make her point.

"And here I thought you to be innocent, darling." Eames leaned back in his chair, taking in her slumped form.

"Don't call me 'darling'. I thought that was Arthur's little pet-name." She gave him a mock-glare undermined by another hiccup. That gleam from earlier was still there, leading him along.

"Fine." He gave her a miffed look of his own. "What do you prefer then? Puppet, princess, gorgeous…?" He played along, hoping she would not mention the forging again.

She wrinkled her nose and he bit back another smirk. "None of them."

"Sorry, no can do, love. It comes with the package." He stretched out in his chair, still keeping eye contact.

-"Just like impersonating women?" She shot back, the gleam in her eyes having done nothing to warn him that she would bring it up again.

He clenched his jaw. That point had to go to her. He had been sure he had steered her away from that. "If the situation calls for it." He told her, wanting to drop it.

"Sure, but what about the technicalities? If you are, do you actually…" A particularly loud hiccup interrupted her.

–"Ariadne my sweet, if you're so interested in how much I know about the female physique, I can show you." He challenged, sure that she would back off after a comment like this and took her hand to brush a kiss over the smooth skin on the inside of her wrist.

She reddened further, but frowned at him with vigilant eyes. "Are you trying to get me into bed, just so you don't have to answer the question?"

So she was not as drunk as he had hoped. Time to change tactics again.

"Yes." He admitted with a slightly over-dramatic sigh and let go of her hand only for her to grab his.

"What's the big deal? Or are you trying to stay in the closet?" She teased, huge eyes blinking up at him and lips forming a mock-pout.

She had not just said that! The Forger vaguely noted how her hiccups had still not ceased even though she was doing a good job at doubting his sexual orientation. He was admittedly a little offended.

He could either admit defeat or do something potentially very stupid but may yet allow him to win their little game.

Never one to turn down a gamble, he reached over with his free hand, tugging her closer by his wrist which she was still holding onto.

She finally looked up, startled and perhaps realising that she had just lost the game but the gleam had still not left her eyes. She bit back another hiccup only to have him kiss her right on the mouth.

For a second, her hands went to his shoulders as if to push him off, but to his surprise she pulled him closer by the lapels of his jacket instead. He was not going to complain, using all his skill to show her which team it was he was playing for.

After another minute, she was the one to break away and to his utter surprise traced a few more kisses up his scruffy cheek to his ear.

"That's a really cheap trick." Her words were barely slurred anymore as she whispered in his ear. Was _she_ conning _him_?

Drawing back to look at her, he found her flushed but grinning at him. So much for not getting beaten at his own game. When had he become so predictable?

"Did get rid of your hiccups though, didn't it?" He retorted with a grin, not removing his hand from where it was threaded into her hair.

If Arthur saw this he would make sure he died a slow and painful death, he thought dimly but could not find it in himself to care. Her brown eyes were still glinting up at him.

"You still didn't answer my question." She told him, her own hands playing with the collar of his shirt.

"How about a deal?" Eames apparently relented, leaning in to try and nip at her lips again, but she turned away slightly so he ended up kissing her cheek. "You do come to my room and decide for yourself." He continued undeterred. This could either earn him a slap or something a little more interesting.

Ariadne pecked him on the nose, her eyes glinting with mischief. For a split second he thought she would even agree.

Instead she leant back in her chair, away from him. "You could just say that you don't want to answer the question."

Game over.

She got to her feet, downed the rest of her drink and with a wink that she blatantly stole from him, she left, stumbling only a little.

Eames had not missed the interest still in her eyes, not sure what to make of it. He watched her exit the bar.

It was only belatedly that he realised Yusuf's eyes were wide open and he must have been watching them for some time.

"What have you gone and done now?" The Chemist asked with a raised eyebrow.

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><p><em>This was just for the fun of my first attempt a crack and turned out quite saucy. Not my usual style, but what the heck…I thought I'd give it a try. I like mental sparring and thought these two would definitely make for an interesting one. Did you like? If Ariadne seemed OC, I blame the fact that she is tipsy in this… honestly…<em>

_And note how I didn't answer the initial question. I don't actually know. What do you guys think? I have some theories and they're actually quite complex… Good god I'm such a geek! XD_


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